Felt so tired today. No energy but I am happy yesterday, I made one of my most difficult client happy.
I am so glad that yesterday I can assist him to do what he wanted and solve the issue of the variance of the FIFO forex gains/loss with his accountant’s calculation for 2020.
I am also happy because we can talk deep about religion and how imperfect world-organisations. Although we may not be in agreement with some of our point of view but I guess it is a constructive discussion, where I am learning the logical consideration. Not saying that logic should always prevail but not considering logic is completely nut as well. That’s where the balance is.
Dad, I know you don’t like the way the churches operates nowadays. At least with most of them. I can see that whether we like it or not, the Church is becoming a structure, which was once to be focusing about You and how to improve the lives of others, to be one that so self-centered.
I am not saying that all Churches like that. No, but many with a good starting motivation and intention, later on becoming the mammoth of it’s own demise. Rapid growth of the Church’s members not maintain by rapid self-development of the Church’s leaders creates chaos and disagreement and disappointment and then leads to separation of key-persons of the Church.
I’ve seen this happening. Mega churches and small churches faces the same issues. At the end of the day, the top Pastors are still human. When faced with mistakes, hiccups, and many negative incidents, they tend to defend themselves. It is only human. Not expecting more than that.
Issue is, other people might not see and accept my views on this.
Daddy, it is You I am looking at, though I am weak You are strong. When I am down, you never let me touch the ground. When I am rooted in a Church because I believe that’s where You want me to stay. They are my family no matter imperfection they have.
As mad as I am to the “mistakes” or the “wrong” decision or attitude, I will stick with them because they are my family and because You told me that this is my home, not because they ask me to stay.
Daddy, I pray for my Church again, over and over, that You gives them wisdom and You lead them. That the Church be the manifestation of Your love. How You have sent Jesus, died on the cross, to repaid our debts to the world, for the ultimate message of love.
Daddy, I miss you. Counting my days and blessing. Always and I am grateful for all these.
Grant me wisdom so that I can lead my family. Be the husband You want me to be, Be the best father to my son and daughter. Be friend to them whenever they needed one.
Daddy, heal my family, my wife’s brokenness because my mistakes, action in the past causing her such sorrows. Still learning my best to unwind these burnt pages, erase if possible but most-likely to shower her more pages of love, unconditional love, like You have told us.
“Love one another as I have loved you. For by this, they will know that you are My disciples.”
Teach me more Daddy to love others as You have loved me. How when I am in the deep-pit, You’ve give me grace and mercy, shown through my wife. Never thought I deserve this but You did proof Your words, which You have spoken to me many times in our discussion together.
“Son, I love you so much.”
Daddy, thank you for always keeping Your words. Thank you for keep reminding me to hold on to You when things are bad and tough. When things unclear, and when I can see the future as my eyes are clouded.
Thank you for opening up my eyes. Tears won’t even describe my gratitude to You. Thank you, for being You.
For being here for me. For showing me love I could never imagine.
Though You seem silent, You are not in fact. You spoke to me in many different ways, You’ve shown me You’re there with many different signs, whether it’s the weather, the nature, the team I am working on right now, the Clients I’ve met.
All of these connected to how You proof Yourself that You are there for me, always and most of all, the proof of Your love story for me.
I can see now how You’ve carefully planned Your way in to my life since the beginning. How I met you back then when I was 10 years old, I believe, at one of my parent’s retreat with his born-again Christian group.
Daddy, I love you. You have never ceased to amazed me. Never. Who am I that You look after me that much. Who am I that You, Lord of Lord, who sit’s on the throne in Heaven, who made the earth Your foot stool, but yet You love me unconditionally.
Ok Dad, I need to work now. I can’t wait to talk to you like this again. Next time I will be quiet and listen up more. Although You’ve put all these thoughts in my mind to written it down. To show me how much You love me.
I love You. Never will I ever consider You silent anymore. It’s me who have a tone deaf. LOL.
Talk to you soon. Love you.
“Love you, Son.”